...But you probably still know our real names. Even though they're in Cyrillic.
All foreigners visiting Russia need a visa. In order to get one, travelers need an invitation from a Russian citizen or a company, which is then taken to a Russian embassy or consulate, where the actual visa is issued. What this means in practice is that specialty companies will provide Russian visas to American citizens. For a price of course. The visas are pasted into your passport.
We've got two, very official-looking, with hologram. As a bonus, our names are transliterated:
МОСКАЛИК, АНДРЕИ ДЖЕИМС and ПЕТЕРСЕН, ТЕРЕЗА Л
Write that down.
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