Sunday, February 19, 2012

Who else here has seen the Kotlas Baby House? Anyone? Anyone?

Having a blog about one's journey through adoption is not exactly a novel idea.  I was poking around the web, looking for pictures of Kotlas, and found a few other kids who were adopted from the same orphanage Elena was from.  It's interesting to read the parallel stories, and to see pictures of Kotlas and Arkhangelsk in different seasons.  (For our earlier pictures, see "The baby house in Kotlas, illustrated," and "Our baby house schedule," as well as the "Baby house" and "Kotlas" labels to the right.)
Here are other folks's stories:

Xavier, adopted by Denise and JJ in May 2011. 
Their Babycakes blog has a lot of great pictures, including some January pictures of Kotlas, and more of Arkhangelsk.  They also spent three-plus weeks in St Petersburg, so they have some great pictures of the city, and some interesting and thoughtful reflections on Russian food and living there as a tourist. And, of course, more recent images of Xavier.

David and Michael, adopted by Rachael and Chris in March 2011.
Their Sanity is Optional in Texas blog has more pictures of the Kotlas orphanage (similar to some of ours), some of Archagelsk in the snow, and some Moscow / St Petersburg photos. And more of the boys, of course.

Nicholas, adopted by Brian and Kimberly in January 2010.
Their Adopting Nicholas blog has a few pictures from Kotlas in August and from Arkhangelsk and St Petersburg in December.

Anna Beth, adopted by Leigh and Bryan in January 2010.
Their "Oh the Places You Will Go..." blog has a few pictures both inside and outside from August 2009, and more pictures of a very photogenic Anna Beth from January 2010.

Allison, adopted by Christine and Thomas in June 2009.
Their  Allie in the Family is unfortunately short, but has a few pictures and stories.

Kara and Cooper, adopted by Jane and Jim in October 2008.
Their Life with Kara and Copper blog doesn't have too many pictures, but there is a description of their time in Kotlas, and some pictures taken through Arkhangelsk and Moscow. And the most recent pictures are nearly three years from the adoption date.

Jack, adopted by Erik and Jen in June 2007.
Their Russian Baby Adventure blog has a few orphanage pictures (two, one, one, and one) - The first of those links is interesting, because it shows a room with cribs for younger kids like Jack.  Elena lived in the Kotlas orphanage since she was a few months old, so she probably lived in a room very much like the one pictured. Erik and Jen have some more pictures from Moscow (here's Red Square). And, of course, more pictures of Jack through Christmas 2008.

Bonus slide show: Great minds think alike:
Teresa and Andy, August 2011, in front of the Archangelsk courthouse plaque after a successful court petition.
Denise and JJ, May 2011, in front of the Archangelsk courthouse plaque after a successful court petition.
Rachael and Chris, March 2011, in front of the Archangelsk courthouse plaque after a successful court petition.
Brian and Kimberly, December 2009,  in front of the Archangelsk courthouse plaque after a successful court petition.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

UPDATE 6: Pictures

Here are some more recent pictures
Being mischevious

Elena getting a haircut.  Thanks Sally!

Checking the telephone.

Sitting with some friends.
The last three pictures are from the last month or so:
A Peruvian costume with a Cheburashka doll

Lena has shoe hands!

Happy Birthday!

The power of language

I want to expand on one of the points we made in the last post: the power of language and why it's important.  Elena's been part of our family for five months now, and we can see her command of English grow from day to day as her vocabulary expands, and (more recently) as she begins to master syntax and expressing more complex thoughts in a single sentence.

In some sense this isn't really surprising, because she is just about the right age for language acquisition.  But in another sense, it is surprising.  Let me quote from  Parenting Your Internationally Adoped Child, a fairly lengthy and sober book about what one can expect when adopting internationally:
Several common phases occur as a child learns a second language.  These are normal and predictable, but they can cause some frustration for parent and child.  The first is language loss, when use of the the first language ceases, as it does rather abruptly for most internationally adopted children.... The second is a silent period, during which a child uses neither her native language nor her second language. During this period a child may be shut down, listening but not speaking. Estimates vary, but most researchers believe this silent period lasts between three and six months.... The third and last phase is the emergence of the new language, which as you will discover, eventually does happen.
So it is often, "normal and predictable" to expect many children to remain silent for three to six months.  This was confirmed by a friend of ours, whose own children, both from Russia, had followed the pattern described above--she actually expressed surprise at how much Elena was talking!

I think part of this difference is due to Elena herself.  The staff at the orphanage in Kotlas told us she was something of a chatterbox, so language and communication might be more natural and more important for her, giving Elena more of an incentive to acquire new language skills.  She had a fairly good grasp of Russian, meaning she already had the skills in place to learn A LANGUAGE.  Then, if I understood what I read correctly, learning another language is not so difficult--its just using the same very basic skills to learn more words.
But I also think part of this difference is the work we did, small as it was, to learn a little Russian.  We learned a lot of useful phrases from the book Russian Phrases for Children, as well as a few more words for common foods, for example.  That wasn't as extensive a Russian vocabulary as Elena was used to, but it did give us a solid core of language, relating to everyday events, that we could use to immediately communicate with Elena. We could tell her things, and more importantly, she could tell us things. 

That smoothed the transition for Elena, because she didn't experience an abrupt loss of her first language.  I'm sure she experienced an abrupt reduction in the richness of expression she was able to master, but she could tell us what she wanted and expect us to understand her: the communication aspect of language still existed.  That gave her incentive to continue using language, and that made it easier for us to teach her English, because we can work English words into our conversations, or say it twice- in Russian and then English.  We're a the point now, five months in, that the Russian we use is pretty much optional.  Elena knows the corresponding English words already, and we're keeping the Russian words in use only as a comfortable link to the past (and because it's fun).

Our experience is anecdotal, almost by definition, but I think it's logical that smoothing the transition between a child's native language and English would maintain both the recognition of the utility of language, and the incentive to learn language.  It does take some effort for parents to learn to communicate in the child's native language, but (at least for us) it's not the kind of effort required to become fluent in adult-level conversational Russian.  It's the amount of effort required to memorize common phrases and words needed to communicate with a two-year-old: simple commands, common nouns, and some affectionate phrases.
About that last item: affectionate phrases.  An anecdote: One of the affectionate words in Russian Phrases for Children is сладкое (SLATkaya), meaning "sweetie"  A week or so after we got home from Russia, I told Elena she was a "slatkaya."  She obviously recognized the word, because her face completely lit up, and she pointed at herself and said, "Elena? Slatkaya?"  I nodded and she repeated it with more conviction.  We still use the word at least once per day, and Elena's face still lights up when she realizes that she's the slatkaya.  Her other favorite word is "umnia" for smart.  She loves to be told she is umnia when she has done something clever, and she makes sure to say it if we forget!  Before sleeping she always hears, "Elena is a slatkaya, umnia, ochen korosho baby!"  Sweet, smart and very good!  Even though she understands many words in English, the Russian words still quickly go straight to her heart.

Now isn't that worth learning a few new words?